Scarlet Hashtag: Turning Your Public Shaming Into Power

One Sunday morning in May 2014, I woke up to find myself in the middle of most people’s worst nightmare. Stolen, half-naked photos of me were splashed across the pages of my hometown newspaper along with false allegations that branded me a whore, a slut – even a predator. I thought I had lost everything and that nothing could ever be better or be the same. I knew then that the truth would eventually come out, but I also knew that even if I cleared my name – the Internet doesn’t forget. In fact, eight years later, even after I won a public legal battle and rebuilt my career entirely – the Internet search results of my name are a mess. First page results include unflattering underwear photos and gossip blog articles spreading the most hurtful claims I could ever imagine being written alongside my name.After my shaming “event” (that’s what I’ve taken to calling it – more on that later…), I spent so many angry and sleepless nights obsessing about the injustice of it all. Years and years of building my career in public schools, putting my students first, being an advocate for better education in my community, working long days and weekends to turn around a school in crisis. None of it seemed to matter when I woke up every day to the reality that one angry ex-boyfriend and scandal-mongering tabloid reporters had more power over my reputation than the thousands of voices of support I had behind me in real life. And what was worse, every time I tried to tell my own story, the counter-story just seemed to punch back harder. I came to the painful realization that I would live forever with the Scarlet Letter branded on my chest, forced to the pitiful existence of a tattered reputation online. No matter what.So, what is the good news?The good news is that I got over it. In addition to rebuilding a new career as a lawyer working for one of the most notable anti-violence law firms in the country, I am also free of the angry, sleepless nights that once plagued me. The Internet search results of my name have not changed, but my view of them has. My online reputation is not spotless – but my sense of self and my purpose in this world has improved to levels that I never before thought were possible. It is only now that I have come to understand the obvious lesson of this entire ordeal: that the only person who had the power to get me past the prison of a public shaming I am living in IS MYSELF. And this Guidebook is an offering of help to get you there too. Read more